User:Kribbel/Texts - Revision history

imported>Kribbel: corrections

2022-09-14T15:24:40Z

corrections

← Older revision	Revision as of 15:24, 14 September 2022
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imported>Kribbel: corrections

2022-09-14T15:24:40Z

corrections

← Older revision		Revision as of 15:24, 14 September 2022
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	# What do you call a big snarling polar bear that’s heading your way? – You don’t call it anything, you just run!		# What do you call a big snarling polar bear that’s heading your way? – You don’t call it anything, you just run!
	# Did you ever meet the cannibals from Athor? They really have strange habits and rituals. Do you know what's the first ritual of a cannibal wedding? – Toast the bride and groom		# Did you ever meet the cannibals from Athor? They really have strange habits and rituals. Do you know what's the first ritual of a cannibal wedding? – Toast the bride and groom
	# After a long hard day of mining in the Semos Mine, Barbarus falls flat on his bed around midnight. That’s when he hears a ghostly wail, “I am the ghost with the blue eyes.” The ghost with the blue eyes sees the man is unaffected and still lying there in bed, so he repeats, “I am the ghost with the blue eyes.” The man is still lying there in bed, so the ghost says it louder than the other times, “I am the ghost with the bl...” The man yells, “If you don’t shut up, you’ll be the ghost with the ~~purple~~ eyes!”		# After a long hard day of mining in the Semos Mine, Barbarus falls flat on his bed around midnight. That’s when he hears a ghostly wail, “I am the ghost with the blue eyes.” The ghost with the blue eyes sees the man is unaffected and still lying there in bed, so he repeats, “I am the ghost with the blue eyes.” The man is still lying there in bed, so the ghost says it louder than the other times, “I am the ghost with the bl...” The man yells, “If you don’t shut up, you’ll be the ghost with the black eyes!”
	# There are three fundamental truths: 1. Men are always right. 2. Women belong in the kitchen. 3. The Earth is flat.		# <s>There are three fundamental truths: 1. Men are always right. 2. Women belong in the kitchen. 3. The Earth is flat.</s> <i>Because Stendhal is a 2D world it's in fact flat, which makes the joke absurd.</i> [[User:Kribbel\|Kribbel]] ([[User talk:Kribbel\|talk]])
	# What does the clever kalavan housewife do, if her husband falls down the stairs by fetching some potatoes out of the cellar? – She makes pasta.		# What does the clever kalavan housewife do, if her husband falls down the stairs by fetching some potatoes out of the cellar? – She makes pasta.
	# Jens comes home and yells, “Moooom!” Jens' mother answers from upstairs, “Don't yell. Come upstairs if you want something.” Jens stamps up the stairs to the first floor of the house. Jens' mother, “Yes, Jens, what's up?” “Mom, look, I stepped into dog shit.”		# Jens comes home and yells, “Moooom!” Jens' mother answers from upstairs, “Don't yell. Come upstairs if you want something.” Jens stamps up the stairs to the first floor of the house. Jens' mother, “Yes, Jens, what's up?” “Mom, look, I stepped into dog shit.”

imported>Kribbel: corrections

2021-11-13T21:18:29Z

corrections

← Older revision	Revision as of 21:18, 13 November 2021
(No difference)

imported>Kribbel: corrections

2021-11-13T21:18:29Z

corrections

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imported>Kribbel at 17:40, 20 March 2021

2021-03-20T17:40:42Z

← Older revision	Revision as of 17:40, 20 March 2021
(No difference)

imported>Kribbel at 17:40, 20 March 2021

2021-03-20T17:40:42Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 17:40, 20 March 2021
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	# There are three fundamental truths: 1. Men are always right. 2. Women belong into the kitchen. 3. The Earth is flat.		# There are three fundamental truths: 1. Men are always right. 2. Women belong into the kitchen. 3. The Earth is flat.
	# What does the clever kalavan housewife do, if her husband falls down the stairs by fetching some potatoes out of the cellar? – She makes pasta.		# What does the clever kalavan housewife do, if her husband falls down the stairs by fetching some potatoes out of the cellar? – She makes pasta.
	# Jens comes home and yells "Moooom!" Jens' mother is upstairs "Don't yell. Come upstairs if you want something." "Jens stamps up the stairs ~~into~~ the first ~~store~~ of the house. Jens' mother "Yes, Jens, what ~~is it~~?" "Mom, look, I stepped into dog shit."		# Jens comes home and yells "Moooom!" Jens' mother is upstairs "Don't yell. Come upstairs if you want something." "Jens stamps up the stairs to the first floor of the house. Jens' mother "Yes, Jens, what's up?" "Mom, look, I stepped into dog shit."
	# The rules of Deathmatch in Ados City changed through the years. In the old days in the Ados Deathmatch Arena heroes had not to fight against mighty creatures but three heroes had to fight against each other, bringing any weapon of their choice and the only rule was that the first person to draw blood would win. One Day the first hero walked in with a badass chaos axe, the second hero walked in with a huge demon fire sword, and the third showed up with a red wax crayon. – After that day Thanatos and Thonatus decided to change the rules.		# The rules of Deathmatch in Ados City changed through the years. In the old days in the Ados Deathmatch Arena heroes had not to fight against mighty creatures but three heroes had to fight against each other, bringing any weapon of their choice and the only rule was that the first person to draw blood would win. One Day the first hero walked in with a badass chaos axe, the second hero walked in with a huge demon fire sword, and the third showed up with a red wax crayon. – After that day Thanatos and Thonatus decided to change the rules.
	# Fighting his way to the Orril Lich Palace a hero happen upon a warrior skeleton. They are fighting to the death. The hero falls down, and the warrior skeleton stands proudly before his fallen foe, with his majestic sword in hand. The hero grins and yells: "You won't finish me. You don't have the guts to do it."		# Fighting his way to the Orril Lich Palace a hero happen upon a warrior skeleton. They are fighting to the death. The hero falls down, and the warrior skeleton stands proudly before his fallen foe, with his majestic sword in hand. The hero grins and yells: "You won't finish me. You don't have the guts to do it."

imported>Kribbel: new jokes

2021-03-20T17:18:11Z

new jokes

← Older revision	Revision as of 17:18, 20 March 2021
(No difference)

imported>Kribbel: new jokes

2021-03-20T17:18:11Z

new jokes

@@ Line 74: / Line 74: @@
 # Did you ever meet the cannibals from Athor? They really have strange habits and rituals. Do you know what's the first ritual of a cannibal wedding? – Toast the bride and groom
 # After a long hard day of mining in the Semos Mine Barbarus falls flat on his bed around midnight. That’s when he hears a ghostly wail. “I am the ghost with the blue eyes.” The ghost with the blue eyes sees the man is unaffected and still lying there in bed so he says it again. “I am the ghost with the blue eyes.” The man is still lying there in bed so the ghost says louder it than the other times. “I am the ghost with the bl...” The man yells “If you don’t shut up you’ll be the ghost with the purple eyes!”
-# There are the fundamental truths: 1. Men are always right. 2. Women belong into the kitchen. 3. The Earth is flat.
+# There are three fundamental truths: 1. Men are always right. 2. Women belong into the kitchen. 3. The Earth is flat.
 # What does the clever kalavan housewife do, if her husband falls down the stairs by fetching some potatoes out of the cellar? – She makes pasta.
 === grade two jokes ===
@@ Line 106: / Line 116: @@
 # Which horse can jump higher than a house? – All of them because houses can’t jump at all.
 # Why did the horse miss the jousting event? – It had the knight off.
-# The mother is in the kitchen preparing the meal when she hears loud screaming coming out of the bathroom. She runs there and sees her husband pulling the baby through the water by holding it at it's ears. She "What's all this?" He "You want me to scald my hands?"
+# The mother is in the kitchen preparing the meal when she hears loud screaming coming out of the bathroom. She runs there and sees her husband pulling the baby through the water by holding it at its ears. She "What's all this?" He "You want me to scald my hands?"
-# The hero kribbel runs to the peer at Ados Coast, throws his bag on the three meter away ferry and jumps after it, with his last power he pulls himself over the rail and pants relieved "Done!"
+# The hero kribbel runs to the peer at Ados Coast, throws his bag on the three meter away ferry and jumps after it, with his last power he pulls himself over the rail and pants relieved "Done!" Sailor Jackie to him "Not bad, really not bad, but why didn't you wait until we dock?"

imported>Kribbel at 11:45, 13 February 2021

2021-02-13T11:45:16Z

← Older revision	Revision as of 11:45, 13 February 2021
(No difference)

imported>Kribbel at 11:45, 13 February 2021

2021-02-13T11:45:16Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 11:45, 13 February 2021
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	hi: Hello mate!		hi: Hello mate!

	hi2: Hey mate! Do you've got a beer for me?		hi2: Hey mate! Do you've got a beer for me?

	job: Oh, I'm not working anymore, I'm retired. I used to be a travelling entertainer. Now I just take care of my garden and watch the chicks. !me winks mischievously.		job: Oh, I'm not working anymore, I'm retired. I used to be a travelling entertainer. Now I just take care of my garden and watch the chicks. !me winks mischievously.

	help: No, I don't need any help. I can take care of my garden myself. But I'd like to put an #offer to you.		help: No, I don't need any help. I can take care of my garden myself. But I'd like to put an #offer to you.

	offer: Sitting here so long made me thirsty. Tell you what, if you bring me a beer, I will tell you a #joke or a funny pun in return. How about that? Do you want to hear one?		offer: Sitting here so long made me thirsty. Tell you what, if you bring me a beer, I will tell you a #joke or a funny pun in return. How about that? Do you want to hear one?
	quest: No, no, I don't have any quest for you, but I'd like to make you an #offer.		quest: No, no, I don't have any quest for you, but I'd like to make you an #offer.

	or better		or better

	quest: No, I'm sorry. But at the #museum they are constantly looking for new #exhibits. I bet this is exactly what you are looking for. !me smiles		quest: No, I'm sorry. But at the #museum they are constantly looking for new #exhibits. I bet this is exactly what you are looking for. !me smiles

	joke: Not the world's best jokes, but mine are pretty amusing… mostly. At least they helped me make a living.		joke: Not the world's best jokes, but mine are pretty amusing… mostly. At least they helped me make a living.

	museum: It's on the other side of the town. A big, white, noble looking building. You can't fail to see it.		museum: It's on the other side of the town. A big, white, noble looking building. You can't fail to see it.

	exhibit: I don't know what they do with all those things you heroes bring them. If you ask me, they either get robbed constantly or they sell them on the black market theirselves. !me looks conspiratorial. Or how do you explain that all those scoundrels in Faiumoni are carrying such good weapons.		exhibit: I don't know what they do with all those things you heroes bring them. If you ask me, they either get robbed constantly or they sell them on the black market theirselves. !me looks conspiratorial. Or how do you explain that all those scoundrels in Faiumoni are carrying such good weapons.

	beer given: Thanks for the beer! And here we go:		beer given: Thanks for the beer! And here we go:

	bye: See you later mate!		bye: See you later mate!